This is a crazy time of year packed with overbuying, card writing, decorating, baking, parties and concerts yet I took a few minutes out of the day today as it suddenly hit me that.............. I had no mum.
My mum always went that extra mile to send little things that meant alot e.g. sugar almonds, good UK underwear, chocolate items for the tree, yet this year she is not here.
I know she has been gone for 4 months but at times it feels unbearable. I guess Christmas is one of the more harder holidays.
I would like to dedicate this to my mum who was so special and was whipped away from us very quickly and cruelly July 1st 2008.
Mum I probably never told you all of the special things that you did for me that I really appreciated yet I never found the time to tell you so.
All the Daffodil cards that I can now look at and remember you by.
It grieves me that the children are growing out of the clothes that you knitted or bought them and I can hardly bear to part with them as I feel like I am loosing you all over again.
Number 3 is in a kinder garden concert next week and you will not be here. You always seemed to make it over here for the important occasions.
Sir L bought some English chocolate finger biscuits and number 3 remembered the fort birthday cake that you made him when we came to England when you were first diagnosed with cancer. You insisted on making his birthday cake..a chocolate fort. I know how hard it was for you as you were so nauseous yet you made it for his 5th birthday which he is always going to remember. Thank you.
I miss talking to you and the e-mails as you were always there for me, protecting or advising or even being bossy.
know you hated the fact that we became American Citizens by all the Union Jack items that you bought us and you felt that we had let the Brits down yet we are always the same underneath the skin.
My poor garden that so needs your advise as it so difficult to grow plants in these harsh weather conditions.
As for my knitting..I still plow on trying to work out my knots & mistakes with Mme L.
Your beautiful house that is on the market yet due to the economy being so dire it stands alone, unloved and hollow.
My sister is having a terrible time and I am there for her as much as I can be being 19 hours away. Its very frustrating. I know it will give you great comfort that she and her family are coming here for Christmas so I can spoil her rotten and give her some support. We have become a lot closer since you left.
My brother is the same work, work,work! He hopes to come over nest year to visit though.
Your boyfriend is still is a mess and has put his house on the market to move away to try to start again which is not easy at 70 but you gave him the strength & "get to" to do these things.
I miss you mum and if only we had known what this year was to bring I would have made an effort to come over for Christmas and birthdays and to make the most of good health and life.
You were always such a positive person even when you hit the duldrums and I can only hope that I can follow in your footsteps.
I love you mum and thank you for everything.